Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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