Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
