No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
