hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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