My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
