she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize