My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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