I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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