Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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