I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
