I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
