Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
