I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Randomize
