If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
