no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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