Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
