i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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