Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
