thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
