You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
