Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Rumble strips road head = magical
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize