that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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