Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
