okay pat passed out under dana's car
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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