doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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