would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
