Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
