Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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