my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
