please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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