she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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