Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
