Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize