I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
