Umm I'm too high to move.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
