I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it glows. i had to have it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
