Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
