ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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