My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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