My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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