i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
