there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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