Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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