I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
