Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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