I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize