Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
