So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
