I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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