I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
