I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
