So gin and wine won't be happening again
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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