and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
