we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
