I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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