so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize