new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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