fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
